No one likes to talk about death, although it’s truly the one experience we will all eventually share. None of us have a choice about dying, but we could have a choice about how much we suffer at the end of life.
No one wants their last days to be filled with pain and suffering. In ten states and the District of Columbia, some people have an option to avoid that. It’s called medical aid in dying, but it’s not yet legal in New York. Medical aid in dying allows terminally ill adults with six months or less to live to request a prescription from their doctor they can take at a time and place of their choosing to die on their own terms.
I am a New Yorker who has been living with Stage 4 breast cancer for more than two years. When my time comes – hopefully many years from now – and if I am in pain that cannot be controlled, I am clear that I will want the freedom to choose to end my suffering, surrounded by friends and family at a time and in a place of my choosing.
Hundreds of ailing individuals like me have been pushing Albany to pass the Medical Aid in Dying Act for over a decade. I joined the fight two years ago.
I have seen the kind of death I want. A friend who was a New Jersey resident was dying from ovarian cancer and, as medical aid in dying is legal in that state, was able to access this compassionate choice and peacefully passed at home, surrounded by people who loved her.
By contrast, another friend watched her husband die painfully in Connecticut, where medical aid in dying is not legal. Despite good hospice care, he was in great distress. He was desperate to die, but his passing took much longer than he had his wife wished and his last days were filled with suffering.
This makes me beyond angry. The difference between a good death or a bad death shouldn’t depend on where you live. A dying New Yorker cannot access medical aid in dying in my Bronx community. But a dying Jersyite, just across the river can? This makes no sense.
The State Assembly recently made history by passing Medical Aid in Dying for the first time in the ten years it has been under consideration in Albany. The consistent failure thus far of the state Senate to pass this compassionate, purely voluntary end-of-life care option completely
disregards the ticking clock that is my disease. And I am not alone.
I do not want to die. I have done and continue to do everything I can to fight cancer. I have weathered many debilitating treatments, including chemotherapy, a mastectomy, 25 rounds of radiation and six months of oral chemo. I initially was rewarded with clean scans and
mammograms. I believed I had left cancer behind.
I was wrong. Two and a half years ago, a PET scan revealed my cancer was back and had spread. I underwent major surgery to remove fruit-sized tumors from my abdomen. Not long after, my oncologist delivered what was effectively a life sentence: I have incurable metastatic
breast cancer. My treatment became palliative rather than curative. I was told the life expectancy of someone like me is, on average, five to seven years.
I am two years in and counting. The surgeons were able to remove all visible cancer from my body. My current treatment — monthly injections and oral therapy — seems to be working. To date, I have had no additional recurrence. Yet, every day I hear the ticking of that clock.
I don’t fear death, but I am terrified of a long and painful dying process.
I want to die in a place I know, with people I know, in surroundings I know, not in a Vermont hotel room. My friends, support system and medical care team are here. I have a rich full life in New York — a job I love, a partner I love, a church I love and a deep community of friends. But I don’t want to give up autonomy over how I die, and I shouldn’t have to.
Medical aid in dying isn’t about ending my life, or any life, prematurely. I’ve spent my career working in social justice trying to change policies to improve the health and dignity of people and communities. This is about autonomy.
When my time comes, I want the option for a peaceful and beautiful death. Everything about cancer treatment is hard; my death shouldn’t have to be.
Enough is enough. Albany can’t cure me. But the State Senate can provide me and countless others with the peace from knowing that a compassionate end-of-life option is within reach. Please, senators, show me and all New Yorkers some love and let us have the option of a good death on our own terms. Pass the Medical Aid in Dying Act now.
Netherland, a Bronx resident, is a medical sociologist and managing director of research and academic engagement at the Drug Policy Alliance.
