Pipe Dreams-Sports

Damon Has Pity For Us

Johnny Damon seems to be one of those players that have good teams follow them around. BTY, did you see that picture of Damon wearing that big honkin’ World Series Championship ring?

Ya’ know, Damon can look at it any way he wants, but I agree with Bruce Jenkins when he said: “The fact is, Damon should still be with the Yankees – and it was the arrogance of his agent, Scott Boras, that led him astray.”

Makes No Cents

Bruce Jenkins, of The SF Chronicle, quoted ESPN.com’s Jayson Stark “ on the A’s $10 million deal with Ben Sheets: “Just so you understand the historical context, the A’s have never had a pitcher who made $10 million (in a season) — not even Tim Hudson, Mark Mulder or Barry Zito. They’ve never signed a free agent for $10 million. The easy explanation for this stunner is, as one front-office man put it, ‘It’s not going to cost them $10 million because he won’t be there (after July).’ But not everyone is so sure Sheets is as movable an object as Matt Holliday was last summer. One GM said, “If you check Sheets’ track record, there’s a decent chance he breaks down and you’ve just flushed $10 million. I understand the risk/reward involved, but no matter how I look at it, it doesn’t make any sense.”

Olympic Headline

Headline in the Vancouver (B.C.) Sun: “It’s Johnny Weir- the d is silent.”

From Bob Molinaro on HamptonRoads.com: “Slippery slope Bronze medal-winning snowboarder Scotty Lago left the Games when allegedly risque pictures of him at a party showed up on the Internet. A snowboarder partying inappropriately? Never saw that coming.

From Dwight Perry in The Seattle Times: “Steve Schrader of the Detroit Free Press, on trying to decide whether to watch the Winter Olympics or the Westminster Dog Show: “Best in Show or Best in Snow? Kiss and Cry Area or Scratch and Sniff Area?”

“Q: What do they call the baddest dude on the Winter Olympic ski slopes?A: Whistler’s mutha.” “Cardiff University’s Chandra Wickramasinghe, a leading British scientist, told the London Daily Telegraph that new research “overwhelmingly” indicates that the first “seeds of life” on Earth were deposited from space 3.8 billion years ago. At least that explains Johnny Weir and Dennis Rodman.”

“Halfpipe gold” is:

a) U.S. snowboarder Shaun White’s Olympic calling card.

b) caviar to the Cheech and Chong crowd.”

Greg Cote’s Olympic Contribution

Greg Cote wrote in The Miami Herald: “The Miami/Fort Lauderdale TV market ranks 54th of 55 monitored U.S. cities/regions in Vancouver Games viewership. Dead last is New Orleans because, between Super Bowl hangover and Mardi Gras, the entire city is too drunk to find the remote.

Used to hate curling like anybody else, because nothing involving brooms and women five months pregnant can possibly be considered a sport. But now I love curling. That’s because I now have a favorite player, Madeleine Dupont of Denmark, who has raised eyebrows by posing topless for a European curling-federation calendar. I personally do not care to know the dates of any upcoming curling matches, but would be pleased to have the calendar just in case.”

Also From Greg

“Palm Beach-based tennis star Serena Williams reveals on her Twitter site that she is taking classesto learn how to be a nail technician. As in giving manicures. As in trimming other people’s toenails. This is either an inventively orchestrated gag or just about the most bizarre thing I can recall a millionaire athlete doing since Ricky Williams quit the NFL to go live in a tent in the Australian outback. Either way, points to Serena.”

“Snarky Brits”

Chris Erskine commented in The LA Times that “When London hosts (the Winter Olympics) in two years, the tabloids will no doubt dub it “The Olympic Thames.”

Then it’ll be everyone else’s turn to attack the snarky Brits, whose rush-to-judgment here has really cheesed off the Canadians.”

Yankee Spring Info

Erik Boland of NY Newsday spoke to Joe Girardi about the Yankee starters and forwarded: “C.C. Sabathia, who will start the spring training opener March 3 against Pittsburgh and the season opener in Boston April 4, won’t throw his first bullpen until Saturday. “CC’s going to start the first game in spring training, so why are the other guys throwing extra bullpens, in a sense, because they’re not going to start the first game?” Girardi said. “We thought we could cut it back a little bit. “Including the postseason, Sabathia pitched 2661/3 innings, Burnett 2341/3 innings and Pettitte 2251/3 innings in 2009. Pettitte is 37, Burnett 33 and Sabathia 29.

“I talked to Dave (pitching coach Dave Eiland) about it and that’s why we’re trying to take some measures to make sure they’re where we want them to be physically all year long,” Girardi said. “So that is something of a concern or we probably wouldn’t have changed it.”

FIFA’s Medical Committee

Rob Harris of the AP said that “ FIFA medical committee chairman Michel D’Hooghe told The Associated Press that he wants the World Anti-Doping Agency to analyze some African plants that could give athletes an unfair advantage. “We received a lot of examples, going from things that we know but also going into absolutely unknown things for me. If I don’t know the names, how can I know what they contain,” D’Hooghe said of the plants. “This is certainly a challenge for WADA.”

Perry’s Patter

Dwight Perry wrote in The Seattle Times: “Some University of Alberta students recently staged history’s biggest dodge-ball game, with 600 players on each team. “Everyone had fun except the last guy taken when choosing sides,” wrote Brad Dickson in the Omaha (Neb.) World-Herald. “He should be out of therapy around 2018.”

“Oberwiesenthal, Germany, Mayor Mirko Ernst, to Metro.co.uk, on why he threatened to ban a topless-tobogganing competition in his town: “The good name of Oberwiesenthal is at stake.”

“Merrimack College’s seven-game baseball trip to Florida was canceled because of a players’ alcohol party. Making it the first time a game was called on account of grain.” (OOF!)

Visit my blog- “Dreams’ Blog”, at bobcon.wordpress.com for daily sports opinions and updates.

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