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Pipe Dreams: The Director’s Cut

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Maybe it's just me, but...

I GOT SICK

All of those July 4th celebrations of gluttony were disgusting.

THIS YEAR’S CELTIC TEAM

This group returned the idea of team play to the front and center. They were led by their coach, Doc Rivers, who appealed to their pride, reminded them of their dedication, and allowed his assistants, Tom Thibodeau and Armand Hill on defense and Cliff Ray working with centers and forwards, to do their jobs.

The Celtics played team defenses that choked off Kobe Bryant and didn’t allow him any driving room. They exposed the Lakers to be dependant upon Bryant’s success.

Bruce Jenkins of the SF Chronicle said the Celtics displayed an East Coast “rough and tumble” style of basketball that showed “Lakers big man Pau Gasol to be a wimp.”

LONGEVITY

Herb Williams will be one of Knicks’ coach Mike D’Antoni’s assistants. D’Antoni will be the FIFTH Knicks coach with whom Williams has worked (Lenny Wilkins, Larry Brown, Don Chaney, and Isiah Thomas were the others). He had also been the interim head coach after Wilkins was let go.

TERRITORIAL RIGHTS

The Sports Curmudgeon had an excellent idea when he said that the WNBA should bring back the old NBA Territorial Draft Rights for a while. As Collegians there was a lot of “buzz” created by players and that “buzz” might carry over to WNBA play affecting attendance in a positive way, especially when good players stay in the same general area. Hey- whatever they’re doing now isn’t working that well. Molinaro said: “After NASA is finished exploring for signs of life on Mars, it should turn its attention to the WNBA.”

DRAFT NIGHT

I sat, watched ESPN, and waited for the Knicks to begin the Donnie Walsh-Mike D’Antoni (for now I’ll refer to it as the Donnie & D’Antoni Show) era. I was hopeful that the draft would, somehow, reverse the fortunes of the Klucks.” When NBA Commissioner “King David” Stern announce that the Knicks picked Danilo Galinari, whose father played with D’Antoni in Italy, with the 6th pick inn the draft, I groaned. I saw Galinari’s face on the screen but my mind kept screaming Frederic Weis. I had been hoping for Brook Lopez, who would be a strong presence in the middle. Unless there is actually some sort of two year “LeBron plan,” this could wind up to be a “You mean they passed on---“ draft.

C.C. SABATHIA

I practiced spelling his name because I hope the Yankees go after him NOW instead of waiting until next off season.

He’s only 27 yet has a 105-71 record WITH CLEVELAND. This 6-7, 250 lb. lefty has averaged 218 innings a season, with 206 hits in 7 ½ years while averaging 180 strike outs a year. His career WHIP is 1.27 and a 3.86 ERA.

He can be an Ace NOW. He’s not a prospect that has to be developed.

LET’S GET IT STRAIGHT

I’m FOR the DH and FOR instant reply review of only home runs. I’m AGAINST instant replays of safe/out or ball/strike calls. I’m UP IN THE AIR on fair/foul calls and have to think more on that one.

THE NEW BOSS

Bob Molinaro said that when Hank Steinbrenner voices his frustrations with the way the season is going he sounds like his father. Bob said, “And no, that’s not meant as a compliment.” But I think it is. George Steinbrenner’s legacy includes all of the pennants, divisional titles, and World Series crowns won on his watch.

Lately Hank Steinbrenner has spoken out for the adoption of the DH for all of baseball. But that’s not likely to happen “because they (the NL AND “Uncle Bud” Selig) still haven’t caught up with what happened in the 20th Century.” 

ALL-STAR BINGO

The manager of this year’s National League All-Star Team chose San Diego’s Bud Black and Mets ex-skipper Willie Randolph as his coaches. All-Star coaches? Their combined record was 91-116, 440. Since Willie was canned, he most likely will be replaced by Joe Torre of the Dodgers who also has a losing record.

Hurdle said that he chose Black because of his experience with working with All-Star pitchers. He was asked, didn’t he have enough experience removing pitchers in the second inning. Hurdle insisted, “That’s not funny.”

UP THE MIDDLE

Tommy Lasorda said that Steve Sax came to him one day and told him that he finally understood what Lasorda had been telling him about hitting. Sax said, “Eighty percent of the time I try to hit the ball up the middle, 20% of the time I try to hit it to left and the other 20% I try to hit to right.” Lasorda asked Ken Landreaux, who was standing next to Lasorda at the time, “Did you just hear what he just said?”

Lasorda claimed Landreux’s response was, “Skip, I’ve been in the big leagues for 13 years and that’s the best hitting theory I’ve heard yet.”

IN THE HOLE!

You might hear someone yell “IN THE HOLE” when a golf pro tries to make a 75-foot birdie putt during a televised tournament. Dwight Perry said it’s only a TV network exec describing the next six month’s ratings with no Tiger Woods.

CLASS WITH A CAPITOL C

Greg Cote talked about Oakland Raider WR Javon Walker’s behavior. Walker went night clubbing in Las Vegas and made everyone who didn’t know who he was aware of it. He put on a money-flashing show, sprayed everybody with expensive Champaign, and left at 3:30 A.M.  After which he was jumped, beaten, robbed, and left unconscious in the street. Can you imagine Tiger Woods acting that way? Too many athletes misplace the first two letters in the word CLASS- but not Tiger

TIGER, TIGER BURNING BRIGHT

Dwight Perry reported that when Tiger Woods had that reconstruction done on his knee, he told the doctors not to do any tricky pin placements.

SO RIDICULOUS- NO PUNCH LINE NEEDED

That’s what Greg Cote said when he reported that, “Las Vegas hosted the USARPS National Championship- that’s Rock, Paper, and Scissors. Seriously!” 

Again, maybe it’s just me—but…. 

Updated 5:29 pm, October 21, 2011
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