Pipe Dreams

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Jets-Giants Week 17

The playoff bound 9-7 Jets beat the 10-6 Bengals 37-0, but hold your horses and don’t get too excited. They have to play the same team IN Cinci in the 1st round. I hope Ryan held back some plays for the next game.

The 8-8 “Going-No-Where but the golf course” Giants embarrassed themselves, again, by losing to the 12-4 Vikings 44-7; embarrassed, because it looked like they weren’t even trying that hard. The Vikes had 487 yards to NY’s 181 (35- yes 35- yards rushing). They fumbled twice and allowed 3 sacks. Eli was 20-28,146 net passing yards. Favre was 25-31, 316 yards. Defense, what defense? Say good-bye to Sheridan! He was terrible! Terrible! Now- I feel the Giants will tap Pepper Johnson, Dick Jauron, or Romeo Crennel. My vote is for Johnson.

Just Skidding

Dwight Perry pointed out that, “So much for the old “It’s not how you start, it’s how you finish” bromide: The NFL’s top two playoff seeds, the Colts and Saints, opened their seasons a combined 27-0 — and finished a combined 0-5.

Bowling For Dollars

“I sat down at noon Saturday to watch the Little Caesars Bowl, and Mrs. Insider decided I should go get pizza for the family,” wrote David Thomas of the Fort Worth Star-Telegram.

“Then I sat down to watch the Meineke Car Care Bowl, and Mrs. Insider reminded me I promised to get her car’s oil changed.

“After that, there was no way I was going to try to watch the Emerald Bowl.”

Monkeying Around

Dwight Perry of the Seattle Times forwarded, “A troupe of monkeys — trained in taekwondo for the amusement of mall shoppers in Enshi, China — seized their chance for revenge when trainer Lo Wung slipped, the London Telegraph reported. One landed a kung-fu kick to Lo’s head, and the rest joined in.

“I saw one punch him in the eye,” said Hu Luang, who was filming the proceedings. “He grabbed another by the ear, and it responded by grabbing his nose. “They were leaping and jumping all over the place. It was better than a Bruce Lee film.”

Dwight’s Unpaid


Dwight Perry endured a two-week unpaid vacation just before Christmas and came back to give us a run-down of some of the year’s top sports stories.

“January: Maple Leafs center Matt Stajan was sidelined with blurry vision after he was struck in the eye by an errant shot — while playing foosball.

Team officials quietly suggested he stick to much less-dangerous pursuits like, maybe, ice hockey.

February: Mets pitcher Mike Pelfrey, playing golf with four teammates in Florida, flipped the cart he was driving when a tire caught a sand trap. If you’re scoring at home, that’s one run, one hit, one error and nobody left on. June: The Blue Jays’ Alex Rios got a double whiff of infamy when he struck out five times in five plate appearances against the Angels, making him the only player to do it twice in the past half-century.

So who needs the Wheaties box when you can make the cover of Special K?”

Dwight Asked:

“Can You See Me Now?”

“Not all of Tiger’s corporate sponsors have bailed out. Until an ugly mistress turns up, Lasik Eye Center is standing by him.”

Then He Asked

For You To Do The Math

“From This Week in Sports History, at “540 B.C.: Pythagoras creates the triangle offense, which states that the square of the distance between adjacent forwards is equal to the square of the distance between the power forward and point guard.”

Interesting Stats

The Sports Curmudgeon sent along “A pair of interesting stats that give you an idea just how young Brandon Jennings is He is now just:

1) over 20 years and 3 months old.

2)Jerry Sloan became coach of the Utah Jazz on 9 December 1988. He has been in that position for 21 years.

Crowe’s Nest

Jerry Crowe of the LA Times said:

* “Roy Halladay notched a major league-leading 34 over the last five seasons, or 20 fewer than Sandy Koufax racked up in his last two seasons with the Dodgers. “ * “Sign held aloft at Staples Center, presumably by fans of Clippers center Chris Kaman: “So easy a Kaman Can Do It.” . . .

Is that a compliment?”

* “Three of the five winningest coaches in NBA history -- Lenny Wilkens, Don Nelson and Jerry Sloan -- have one championship between them.

The other two -- Pat Riley and Phil Jackson -- have won 15.”

Rainy Days

And Mondays

Brad Dickson in the Omaha (Neb.) World-Herald, on the Chicago Cubs trading outfielder Milton Bradley to Seattle: “There’s a good idea. Take a guy known for mood swings and put him in a place where it rains six days a week.”

Molinaro Marinara

Bob Molinaro said on

“It pains me to disagree with the perpetually frowning media masses, but if the Colts stumble in the playoffs, it won’t be because they pulled their starters in the 3rd quarter and lost to the Jets. It will be because they aren’y good enough. I never thought they were.

“As coach of the Phoenix Suns, Mike D’Antoni was credited with introducing a run-and-gin system that enhanced Steve Nash’s career, but now it looks like everybody had that backward. As D’Antoni’s Knicks flounder, the Suns top the NBA in scoring, while Nash, a month shy of 36, averages 18.4 points and leads the league in assists. “Danica Patrick trades on her cute, relatively wholesome looks, but the ads she’s appearing in for a dot-com are crass and borderline offensive. Or am I just guilty of misjudging what passes for good taste on TV these days.”

Visit my blog- “Dreams’ Blog”, at for daily sports opinions and updates.

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