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Pipe Dreams: The Director’s Cut

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Maybe it’s just me, but...

JET TRAILS

WELL, THEY DID IT! The Jets got Favre for a 4th rounder that might change based upon how well the team does this season The Jets record HAS to improve from last year and all they MUST DO is protect the senior citizen. Boy, now I really feel old calling 39-year old Favre a senior citizen.

OLYMPIC VIEWPOINT

Baron Pierre de Coubertin revived the Olympic Games in 1894 and said that the torch should light the way, the ages, to promote friendly understanding among nations.

Norman Chad commented, “Well, it seemed to be a good idea at the time. Now the Olympic Games are just programming. NBC and its cable networks will have 3600 hours- 2900 of them live- over 17 days. You do the math.”

With this kind of media info blitz how will it be possible for there to be ANY kind of suspense about the 100-meter dash, relays, pole vaults, long jumps, or high jumps.

Chad said that his microwave would be carrying synchronized swimming.

OLYMPIC STORIES

I’m sure that we’ll be hearing many happy stories, experience many warm moments, and see tears on the victory stand.

We WON’T hear stories like the one about the Barcelona opening ceremony where an archer shot a flaming arrow, from the other side of the stadium, into a caldron to light the Olympic flame. The arrow passed through a wide wall of gas to insure a good hit even if the arrow was going wide. Or about the 2006 Turin Games where Pavarotti thrilled an opening ceremony crowd with a song that was lip-synced.

MASSAGE FROM BEIJING

Scott Ostler explored a “hutong” (funky alleyway) in Beijing and had a full body massage for $14. He figured- how bad could it turn out? It was given by the “Mao-quis de Sade” and the deep tissue massage was beyond painful. The “Mao-quis” then suggested “the Chinese herbal medicine treatment” for an additional $14. He showed Scott apple-sized goldfish bowls filled with blobs of white smoky stuff that would be slapped on Scott’s back. After 15-minutes, the 15 bowls were removed (each giving a “schluup” sound after the suction was broken) and left round cookie shaped imprints on his back. Scott said this “cupping” was supposed to suck out the toxins from his body- so now he has room to put more back in.

BEIJING TABLE TENNIS

I wonder if the IOC will change any rules for Olympic table tennis as they did with basketball. Oh wait a minute- That was an American game, invented by an American. Will it be dropped as baseball and softball has been? Table tennis seems to be the Chinese answer to hoops. In fact, all four member of the US table tennis team are Chinese.

Ostler said, “Table tennis-wise, it’s like the rest of the world is singing karaoke and China is Sinatra.”

CHINA AIRES

Sally Jenkins reported on Beijing being the city that has its splendor: ambrosial pear juice and duck skin in coarse sugar, ancient gnarled cypresses, and bending willow trees. But the air is not one of these splendors. In fact, depending on which way the wind is blowing, it can seem as if the countryside is burning, or as if you are standing behind the tailpipe of a bus.

So what is this Olympics really about? It’s about the 12 major corporations, without whose money these games wouldn’t have gotten off the ground, panting to be able to tap into the world’s third largest economy- China’s 1.3 billion consumers. Six of those 12 are American companies (GE which owns NBC, Coca Cola, Visa, McDonald’s, Kodak, and Johnson and Johnson- will reap the full exposure that the Summer Games will provide). They’re going to attempt to wrap themselves in the Stars and Stripes for uplifting China’s economy, but don’t buy that. They gave in to the Chinese censorship program and fell into a special category, along with “Big Oil”, as profiteers.

FDR, said in his “Four Freedoms” speech, that these profiteers have clipped the wings of the American Eagle to feather their own nests.

SOMETHING TO WATCH

Josh Childress went to Greece to play pro-basketball (after spending four years in the NBA) for more money, lower taxes, and the chance to tell the Atlanta Hawks that they don’t own him. This defection fired a warning shot across NBA Commissioner David Stern’s bow. For years great foreign players, like Yao Ming and Dirk Nowitski have come to America. But now because of the weaker dollar and the stronger Euro that tide may be turning. Some players have already snubbed the NBA for the Euro-league where players have had their taxes paid, housing provided, as well as other negotiated percs. “Forewarned is Forearmed.”

NCAA SUPER SLUTHS

Why is it that the Miles Bland NCAA police force always finds wrongdoings at small schools like Texas A & M- Corpus Christi (they used an ineligible tennis player and volley ball player)? I guess the BIG power-house athletic factories must NEVER do anything wrong. I can’t even write that with a straight face.

BLOGS

Norman Chad said that sports blogs are like talk-radio on steroids. “They are like 7-Eleven. They have a bunch of stuff you usually don’t need and they never close. We always were passionate about our sport teams, but the means in which we can express that passion has changed. In the 1930’s, you might sit on your front stoop and argue; in the 1960’s, you might write a letter to the editor; in the 1990’s you might call talk radio; nowadays, you go online and vent.”

KID CHOCOLATE

I spoke with John Seip who manages fast rising middleweight Peter, Kid Chocolate, Quillin (19-0, 14KO) and he told me that the cut, which didn’t allow Peter from being on the 8/1 card along with Jorge Teron, will be healed in time for an appearance in September for a 10-rounder in New Hampshire. All of Peter’s KO’s came in the first or second round and he’s ready to move up to the next level.

Again, maybe it’s just me—but….

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