Today’s news:

Pipe Dreams: The Director’s Cut

Maybe it's just me, but...

HAPPY-NO, SOMBER-YES

Greg Cote of the Miami Herald wrote and wished for a Happy Memorial Day to everybody, but the said, Wait. We are honoring the war dead. Somber Memorial Day, everybody!”

WATER, WATER, EVERYWHERE

NYC OWNS the water system. The Water Board RENTS it with most of the paid rental revenue being used to pay pre-1984 debt (in the form of bonds). Most of the debt has been paid off, that rental money now produces progressively growing revenue- in the tune of $190 million within the next fiscal year. So why is that 14.5% rate increase still going forward? It’s because the NYC General Treasury, the receiver of the rent is preventing that revenue to be used to eliminate the increase, which has slated another 14.5% increase for next year. WE own the water, why are WE going to pay 29% more for it. If they could figure out a way to charge us for the air we breathe, they’d do it- oh wait a minute- they do. It’s called TAXATION!

HE’S NOT OLD MAN RIVER

Hey Jon! What’s with “Old Man” Moises Alou? He’s just not rolling along (well, maybe he is) He came back from hernia surgery, played 14 games, and went on the DL with a calf injury.

UH-0H

I think that the Mets pitching staff misses having Glavine on the team, just to give them advice from the players’ vantage. Perhaps the staff wouldn’t have a combined ERA OF 4.11 and a combined WHIP of 1.406.

“UNCLE BUD”- THE MASTER OF “GO FASTER”

MLB Commissioner “Uncle Bud” Selig is concerned that baseball is boring “Generation Xbox” out of their minds. Dan Daly said that he keeps trying to nudge players back into the batter’s box and keeps trying to get relievers to hustle in from the bullpen. “It’s a near impossible task, a lot like asking kids to make their beds every day, but it keeps his mind off congressional hearings.”

NFL OWNERS MEETING

The NFL owners are expected to opt out of a labor agreement which could, according to Greg Cote, threaten the league with a work stoppage by 2011. Cote added, “Apparently the owners believe in the old saying- ‘If it ain’t broke, break it.’”

THE REAL REASON

Why is the former tapping specialist for the NE Patriots Matt Walsh making media rounds? Does he have a “tell-all” book coming out? The last time that I saw this type of act was just before Jose Conseco’s book “Juiced” hit the stands. Will we see Walsh sitting next to Oprah soon?

2012 SUPER BOWL

The 2012 Super Bowl has been awarded to Indianapolis. Dwight Perry said, “As for the TV rights to the game, sources say, it’s down to Fox, NBC, and Bill Belichick.”

SACRAMENTAL BASKETBALL

If a basketball player were ordained as a minister, would they refer to the sacrament of Baptism as a dunk and going to heaven as being in the bonus situation?

THEN THERE IS POLITICAL BASKETBALL

Hillary has refused to concede that the Knicks are out of the playoffs.

LOTTERY

Good and lucky are two words that can’t be associated with the Knicks while referring to the “draft lottery” or the regular season.

FOOTBALL IN MOSCOW

Manchester United was the 2008 Premier League Champion and Chelsea finished second. They played in the UEFA Championship League Final in the 70,000 seat Luzhniki Stadium, located in Moscow. Ironically, Manchester’s supporters refer to themselves as “The Red Army.”

The Russians employed a paramilitary force, known as the “Omon”, many of who are veterans of the brutal fighting in Chechnya, to combat unruly British fans. Bill Conlin said that these guys make the French Foreign Legion and the Israeli Special Forces look like Boy Scouts.  

RACING MAYHEM

For years Sheikh Mohammed bin Rahid Al Maktoun of Dubai has dominated the world of horse buying. But in the last three years a new player has burst onto the scene. The IEAH (Int’l Equine Acquisition Holdings), headed by NY’ers Michael Iavarone and Richard Schiavo who came from the world of finance with untraceable credentials and funding from 100 Wall Streeters who anteed up a $ 1 million each, are on the scene in a big way.

The IEAH is looked down upon by the “horsey set” for being too brash and abrasive and because they don’t fall all over themselves to attend the Yearling Auctions preferring to go after proven racers like Big Brown. DUH! Maybe it’s just a NY thing to prefer to be successful with successful horses. Right now this is very unique in the racing world. But you can bet (sorry) that if they have other successes, their model will be copied quickly and finding another Big Brown will get harder and harder.

CHOICES

I don’t know about the American public in general, but I would much rather watch a live LA Sparks WNBA game than a taped episode of the World Series of Poker or for that matter,  a pro golfer crouching over to interminably line up a shot.

WHO?

Philip Hersh reviewed e book in the AL Times, “The Night Olympic Team” by Caroline Hutton. The review said that “the battle against drug cheats in sports is Sisyphean” (Sisyphus was condemned, in Greek mythology, to eternally push a boulder up a hill and watch it fall back down). Baseball players undoubtedly stopped using HGH, for which a legally defensible test is yet to be implemented, and they probably have moved on to designer steroids with molecular structures yet to be identified.”

PEDAL, PEDAL, PEDAL

Scott Ostler said that “a guy named George Hood set a world record for riding a stationary bike, pedaling eight straight days and the equivalent of 2,016 miles but still finished 20 feet behind the rack of dumbbells on the far wall.”

NO SOUP FOR YOU”, SAID BOB MOLINARO

A 34-year old Sumo wrestler used a soup ladle to attack an 18-year old wrestler. What’s a Sumo wrestler doing with a soup ladle? Do these guys look like they sit down and have broth for lunch?

Again, maybe it’s just me—but…. 

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